In these strange times he...

has a new love.

Not content with one, but two!

I hardly get a look in.

He fusses, he cossets, he prepares their food with so much care.  I stand forlorn, overlooked, knowing full well my place at maybe, just maybe fourth down the list Ellie a whisker ahead of me!

Nose in the instruction books, the occasional phone call to a helpline (he does so love a helpline)  

‘Phone them up’

he is often heard to say if I merely touch on a problem...

‘They must have a help line!’

The correct diet is the key, I am reliably informed as carefully he chops, gathers the ingredients with all the panache of a latter day Keith Floyd, glass of wine in hand!

Cordon bleu cheffette me is much amused.

‘Go with the flow, just wang it in!  I say in my best 

That’ll do School of Cookery voice!

The cottage reverberates to the sound of chopping, slicing, mincing.  

I can’t cope!

‘If I got half the love, I’d be happy!’  I snifferly huff!

Unashamed he carries on.

‘Ooh, the babies are escaping, what shall I do?’

‘Just wang another level on!’

I say in a totally disinterested voice, being unloved makes you like that!

Consulting the book which doesn’t include my pithy advice he does exactly that and all is quiet in his love nest.  Peace reigns.

One is going great guns and is responding to all the fuss, hence the babies. 

The other is as sad, sullen and unmoved as I am. 

Difference being it is at least getting the attention I am most definitely NOT!